Well friends, here are some of the items we new moms need to take off that list of worries.There are so many things already that we naturally stress over. And that's just not fair to a woman who created and delivered a human being. Let's take some of those stresses off your shoulders.
I realized my friend hadn't meant any harm, but I allowed myself to get caught up in a harmful way of thinking. I was being so overly self-conscious that I almost forgot an important message.
Your worth of a person is not determined by your look. Or how much cake you eat.
The number of consecutive days you've worn those sweats does not equal your worth. Not even close.You are of infinite worth, especially to your family, and especially to your little baby. To that baby, you are the entire world. That's a pretty cool feeling when you think about it.
Everyone and their dog have some advice to give you about your new baby, whether you asked for it or not. Technically, that's what I doing right now on this blog. Thanks for reading. ;) Some of the advice can be helpful while other thoughts border the more ridiculous side. I've found it's easier to just listen and then thank them for their ideas. Some of those tidbits might actually come in hand, even the crazy ones. If it doesn't, well at least you validated someone else by listening.
On the days that you do feel overwhelmed though, this advice is usually pretty solid:
When Arrow was born, I was up every time she made some sort of grunt, squeak, or rustling in her blankets. I never wanted to be that mom, but the over protectiveness and baby paranoia kicked in real quick. It was good for me, at least, to be overly attentive for the first few days. It helped me learn. Over time you'll figure out what their usual noises are, and what isn't so normal.
Asking for help
Arrow has been having trouble with food allergies from nursing. Currently, we're trying out formula to see if it helps her feel better. One sad morning, I woke up and realized Taylor had left for work before I could go out and get formula. I realized pretty quick I needed some assistance. I put it off though, because I didn't want to impose on anyone. I tried to nurse her like normal, but it only made her sick. So I didn't have a choice but to ask for help to not only have someone watch her, but to borrow a car as well. Why is this such a hard thing? If anyone asked me to help them, I would feel honored. For some reason, I just feel bad for putting that on anyone else. I'm practicing at this by reminding myself I'm sharing the chance for someone else to feel that honor and those warm fuzzies. Spread the love, brethren.
Being Strong for Anyone
There was a rockin nurse who reached out to me in the hospital during a particularly hard night. She told me that I didn't need to be strong for anyone, and that I could cry whenever I felt the need. That made me feel so much better on the days that I felt gross and sad. You don't need to make face for anyone.
Similarly, don't feel bad about putting off visitors. (Unless they're there to help you clean/cook/ or whatever. You may want them to come over and never leave.) Personally, I felt exhausted by the idea of entertaining anyone when I all wanted to do was sleep. Your tiny baby will still be tiny three weeks later. Your visitors can see them then. It's fine to ask them to come over at a later time. Take time to chill and adjust to the new stage. If you're concerned about hurting feelings, take a moment to explain how you're feeling right now. They'll probably understand.
My guilt came from leaving the baby to cry it out in the bedroom while I sat in the next room over. I felt so bad while I listening to her. Nothing Taylor or I did could comfort her, and I was on the brink of losing my mind when she screamed in my face. We sat together listening and praying. Taylor told me that I didn't need to feel like I was any less of a mom because I couldn't figure out what was wrong. I didn't need to feel guilty about taking a break either. I did the best I could, and that was going to have to be enough. He was right. Luckily, he was able to take the part of the night shift, so I was able to sleep on the couch for a few hours. Taking a break allowed me to come back rejuvenated for the challenge.
I hope this helps lighten your load of worries. Like I said, this is stuff I have to remind myself everyday. Eventually the thought takes hold, and I start to feel normal again. Babies challenge you like you've never been challenged before. So it's totally okay to break down on occasion. It's chill. It's all chill. :)
Luv 'n' stuff,