Monday, June 22, 2015

Nice try, Google



How does Google know what to advertise? Supposedly, it's all based on what you research. On all your platforms. Because Google and Facebook are creepy enough to stalk you not just on the Google search engine, but on Amazon, Pinterest, and even random dress shops that you might look up.

Lately, the internet has been spamming us with new types of ads. Most of them don't make sense because they're in Russian, and Russian commercials make little sense even in English.


I recently read a hilarious blog article about Google searches and what they say about you. I got curious to our own searches this past week. I thought they might explain all the weirdness we've been getting.

Here are our searches in the past 7 days.
Russian fudge without milk  
can i use a torte pan for any recipe
A prime example of our beating-around-the-bush strategy. Taylor and I are not good at being forward with what we want.
pizza in a torte pan  
better
how to make biscuits
how to make biscuits without baking powder
internet is not always right
winter palace
growlithe
how to videotape a solar eclipse
how to keep sony a65 camera in continuous shoot mode 
You can't, apparently. For a solid time lapse video, you need an intervalometer, which is easy to misspell.
intervelometer
intervalometer
easy apple dessert recipes
how to make apple crisp
  
can i bake apple crisp in a skillet 
Can you hear the desperation in that question? Turns out you can't on a stovetop unless you want apple mush.
snape saying obviously 
          It's hilarious

If you can't tell, We are clearly desperate for American food here. We are also in apparent need of cooking dishes (our only pans are a cheesecake pan and a skillet). Google could probably make some money off us if it showed us where to get normal baking pans in Russia. Too bad they keep sending us ads for perfume, mascara, and women boxing matches. 

Maybe they're worried that I don't feel confident that I'm a strong, independent, attractive enough woman while I'm making dinner in the kitchen.

Google ad products can't supply me with that kind of confidence. What it can do for me is show me where to get some baking soda and a 9x13. ASAP.

A similar post that helped inspire this post is called Who Does Google Think You Are? from Unremarkable Files. Funny stuff, that woman.

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