(1) A walking baby. Doesn't even have to be your own. The baby needs to know what cookies look like.
(2) A convenient distraction.
I learned this nifty trick by visiting an LDS Institute center. Arrow was with me. It was still the beginning of the new semester, so the LDS Institute directors and I were chatting about which classes option there were that I could bring my baby.
I'll be straight up here, friends, and let you know that I already knew which classes were available to me. I had figured that out earlier that day. What had drawn me to him was the big pile of cookies at his table, conveniently stationed in the center of the room. It was purposely poised to bring in unsuspecting students to sign up for a religion class. I couldn't very well just go over and snatch a cookie however. I had to have a good reason to be there. Thus, I talked to the director about classes. I know, I'm a sinner.
As the conversation came to a close, I struggled to find a transition from the class options is to asking if I could have a cookie. Then, I heard a burst of laughter from behind me. I turned to see a woman about my age looking at something. I followed her gaze back to the cookie table.
All I could see was the cookie plate... and then two little hands rising up from behind the table, and grabbing at however many cookies those little fingers could hold. Ever so quickly, the cookies were snatched, and little feet broke into a run, carrying those cookies away as fast as possible.
You guys. Arrow totally stole those cookies.
Within seconds, I had chased her down, (after all, her miniature legs could only carry her so far) and I was a tad embarrassed for her. She had managed to grab 4 large cookies, each about the size of her face. It's not like I could put them back -- baby hands are not clean. I apologized to the director, who laughed it off, and told us to enjoy.
I had a new dilemma on my hands. I didn't mind giving Arrow a little bit of the cookie. But I'm not about to let a baby eat 4 cookies, friends. That's what grandparents are for. I was trying to figure out what to do with all the excess cookies, when it dawned on me what a grand opportunity this was.
I finally had a way in to get the cookies I wanted in the first place. And I didn't even have to ask. Better yet, as a full-fledged adult, I could eat all the cookies, and there would be no one to stop me.
I know this story is a little ridiculous. But friends, when you're married to a health nut, this is what your life becomes. You take what you can get. Or you take whatever the baby steals for you.
Moral of the story: 1. Have children steal stuff for you OR 2. Don't marry a personal trainer.