So. BYU. Brigham Young University. What we people in Utah like to affectionately refer to as "The Lord's School".

That nickname super ticks off people like my husband who are quick to point out Brigham Young himself actually was a co-founder of the University of Utah and God doesn't pick favorites. I have to retaliate that just by looking at the handsome face of my husband that it's very clear that God picks favorites. I mean have you seen him?!

What a stud. Even with that critical Utah Ute fan flaw.

I guess we can't always pick our battles.

I totally didn't plan on this post's direction leading to how attractive my husband is, but that's quite fine by me. Plus, I'm sort of an expert on ending up in places where I didn't expect to be. Read on, friends.

On November 29th 2015, I had a feeling that I should check when the BYU admissions were. So I did. And holy pancakes, they were they were in two days. Two days! Last semester was so incredibly busy that I had completely forgotten to apply to my dream school.

Instantly I dropped everything, and started busting out essays and application deets like nobody's business. I got cranking on the essays first thing and wrote out the rough drafts. I let them sit for a few hours before going back for editing. I did that for two days straight up until 11:55 PM on December 1st, five minutes before submission was required. I've learned that writing always comes out better when I take a break from it to let my mind explore different options before coming back for changes. And I was going to need some crap darn good essays to set myself apart as a potential candidate.

With help from my super amazing bishop and stake president, I was able to get my endorsements almost instantly. I am so grateful and amazed with their help when they let me run over to the church building to sit in for an interview so I could meet the deadline.

At 11:58 PM on December 1st 2015, I pushed that little submit button.

It was finished.

I waited for a few months to hear back.

I was expecting to hear back on their decision in March. To my surprise last Saturday morning, I started seeing acceptance speeches on Facebook from fellow transfer student friends. Filled with trepidation and a slightly pessimisstic attitude, Taylor and I had this little conversation before checking my email.

Chaun: I just know it. I didn't get it in.
Taylor: Well, not with that attitude!
Chaun: Sad face. You're supposed to make me feel better!
Taylor: Chaun. You totally got this. You got a 4.0 last semester, you liked your essays, and you totally have a fair shot at making it.
Chaun: That's much better. But I don't think I did.
Taylor: Why???
Chaun: See, if I'm denied, then I won't be let down. If I'm wrong, then I'll be happily surprised!
Taylor: *shakes his head in mock disgust*

We set up a camera and took a little video. I'll spare you the antagonizing details of opening the email... only to be redirected to another website... only to have my password be "incorrect"... twice.

Finally, I found out what my life direction would be for the next 2 - 3 years.

"Dear Chauntel", it said.

Are you ready?!

Yup. It's true. I won't be a BYU cougar this upcoming fall.

Despite my pessimistic attitude, I was still pretty bummed out. And also confused. Not because of BYU's admission decision, but because I've been avoiding this uncomfortable fear of not knowing what to do with myself after graduating from my current school. I'm still working through that (and also avoiding it :) ), but in the midst of feeling let down not to be going to my dream school, at least for now, I recalled a prompting I had felt a few days before I got my admissions letter. Coincidence? I think not.

A few days prior, I was driving home, listening to my Jesus music (I love the K-Love radio station), when a strong impression filled my mind with what I need to be doing with my life soon after graduation. Or at least a snippet of it. It was almost as if Heavenly Father said to me, "You goofball. What did you think you would be doing? Did you not just graduate with a social media degree? Have you not been working for a film company? Have you not been writing scripts and choreographing just to get better at them? Did you not think I helped you develop these things without a purpose behind them?"

Heavenly Father is much wiser than I, my friends. As I sit here fiddling with my worries of not pursuing dreams of mine, I realize that He has a plan. Which, wow, I'm so grateful for, because I'm terrible at figuring out what I even want. 

- Still graduating this spring. Yaaaaaas.
- Re-apply to BYU for a later semester. I really, really, really want to study film & dance there. So bad.
- Love my Chub & Hub
- Some top secret things that I can't mention right now, wink wink ;)

It's all tentative, but it makes me feel a lot better having something in place, and not this vast droid of grayness and uncertainty. That business gives me the heebies-jeebies like nothing else.

There's my little life update for you. You know, in case you were wondering. :)


  1. I hate those letters. They really stink. At least they could send some chocolate with them or something! Glad you have a plan in place, and I'm sure it will be awesome.

    1. Genius! Why DON'T they send chocolates?! They did send a nice letter about how I'm probably a really great person & stuff, so that did make me feel better. Even if that's what they say to every turned down applicant. :)

  2. I studied film at BYU and now I'm attempting to work in social media. It looks like we are living the same life in reverse... minus the dancing. It will happen when it's right but it sucks right now. I love your attitude.

    1. What! That is so exciting! You'll have to tell me what you liked and disliked about the program. And obviously share the dirt on old professors ;)


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