Friday Q&A Making good conversation with your spouse

This post in particular was requested by a reader in Iceland. (Iceland! I didn't even know people lived there!) and she would like to know some advice on dating your spouse.

Okay, are you ready? Let's make this official Q&A format.

Question: What are some questions you ask your spouse on a date?

Answer. I'm going to take this question a little further and evolve the question into "How can I make consistent conversation with my husband?" Because we're asking questions so that we have something to talk about on the date, right?

Now, let's be clear here, I don't know how to be married to y'alls husbands. I only know how to be married to Taylor. (And we've only been married for a few years... so it's not like this is veteran wisdom.) This is where you fine people of the internet inject your ideas in the comments :)

Now. Taylor, in truth, is the master of coming up with creative questions and ideas to keep the spark in conversation going. For a couple weeks now, I've been paying very close attention to his strategy (unbeknownst to him, but I think I may have creeped him out taking notes & such). Here's what I've observed from him and our dates of late.

1. Trying new kinds of dates.

One week, Taylor and I saw the gymnastics meet at the University of Utah (This was actually a family activity, but it helped spark ideas for actual dates) The next week, we attended an Operation Underground Railroad event and learned what we could do to help stop child trafficking. Tonight we're attending a semi-formal dance.

These activities are so diverse in nature, and I think being in different kinds of situations helps us explore parts of us that we didn't realize we were passionate about. Thus, conversation ensues, because we're excited about these new things. When we listen to each other and talk about those passions, those make for some really great conversations.

2. Ask questions about the future

This is something we love to do. We really love talking about our dreams, and for whatever reason, our dream house. Questions like "What would your dream backyard look like?" and "What kind of party room would you want for the kids?" are not uncommon conversation topics in our house. Then we dissect each other's dream and then research Pinterest for more ideas. We are totally house building nerds and have drawn up multiple blue prints for our non-existent dream home.

Anyway. I got a little sidetracked there. Here are some additional creative questions you could ask (as inspired by Taylor).
  • Would you want a smaller house with a bigger backyard or vice versa? (←This is a hot debate between us)
  • How many cats will you give me if I give you another baby? (Also another hot debate.)
  • What does your dream "day off" look like?
  • What do you think about when you're in the shower?
  • I've noticed a personality perk of yours lately. You're great at _____! And then follow up with asking what one of your personality perks are for some extra feel goods.
3. Lay down to take a nap

Our best conversations are usually just before we fall asleep. Pillow talk, if you will. My theory on why it works is because that's where we feel the most comfortable to be open and express our thoughts. Now, to transition that kind of conversation into the dating scene, you might want to try going somewhere where you feel most comfortable. I would definitely not feel as "safe" to talk about my deep thoughts at Olive Garden, but I might be more willing to open up in our favorite hamburger joint, where we would often visit before we were married. 

If you're having that at home date, you could try tricking your mindset into transitioning into your chatty zone by laying down next to each other for a nap. You might be able to inspire that pillow talk.

Unless one of you falls asleep. Then obviously that didn't work. But you could still try your favorite restaurant. :)

Hope these ideas might spark some of your own!

Happy Friday peeps!


  1. Yes to #1! The best date my husband and I ever went on was to a random death metal keyboard concert at a local college - it was AWFUL, but so hilarious we still laugh about it 5 years later!

    1. Ha! That is hilarious. I have never been to a concert like that. Chalking that one up for future date inspo.

  2. This did not go the way I expected it to go. . . .AND I LOVE IT!!! This is so outside the box Chaun. Now I am going to go talk to my husband ;)


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