NAKED AND AFRAID: the art of finding balance

I love to capture "moments".

While I'm not so great about living in the moment, and more commonly catch myself working on that mental checklist in my head, I still love to catch myself in the moment and appreciate everything that's happening around me.

I love to be in the moment when Arrow and I are playing a game of peek a boo through the kitchen chairs

Or when Taylor and I lay in bed and chat for hours, going over anything from parenting strategies to our favorite kinds of Doritos .

And sometimes, on occasion, I catch myself in a very "naked and afraid" kind of moment.

Let me describe the scene one fine day.

It's late morning. Just Arrow and myself at home.

I need to take a shower. As I get the bathroom ready, I realize that my toddler has been quiet for the past little bit. That's rarely a good sign.

I pop my head in the living room to see what she's up to. There, I'm greeted by a pleasant scene. Arrow has seated herself on our plush couch, tucked herself in with her favorite blanket, and is reading herself "5 Little Ducks". At least, she's softly singing / babbling noises that are unbelievably adorable. The dumbest thing I can do is to interrupt her, so I try creeping back to my shower.

On my way though, I notice my phone on the kitchen counter. Instantly, I remember I'm out of my morning sickness prescription. I needed to call that day or else I would surely die. Surely. While it's fresh on my mind, I grab for it and start dialing for my nurse.

Before that call goes through, my friend calls me. I accidentally accept her call (it was one of those "happy little accidents" because I love talking to her), and she starts asking me complicated questions that I can't understand because our home is a black hole of phone signals.

The sounds of voices brings Arrow to attention of her Mama in the room. With squeals of excitement, she rolls off the couch with her book to show me the 5 little ducklings. As soon as I see her rolling off the couch, there appears to be a very dark stain on her buh-thigh. And oh yes, it's growing. I search the room, trying to remember where the wipes were last used.

Over the phone, my friend is asking me a question. I ask her to repeat it because I can't figure out if she's talking about a babysitting thing or something about her cat. In her patient repeats of the question, I'm sure she's wondering her luck at getting the most daft pregnant friend on the planet.

All things freeze for a single second. 

I am completely soaked in this moment, and I laugh out loud. I've got a toddler demanding "Up!" at my feet, a friend who really needs my response about something I can't understand, a nausea limit that will peak at any time, and a cursed brain that will forget to call for that refill until I'm chucking cookies at dinner.

Also, I really need a shower.

Laughter turns to a loud gasp as my front door opens without warning. In that moment of shock, I realize I am still quite naked.

My sisters and dad don't often warn me when they come to visit Arrow. And they certainly never, ever knock. If it's any of those people coming for a surprise visit, I really hope it's at least a sister.

It is not.
It is a man.

This is not how I expected my morning to go.

A well choreographed, jerking-to-jumping dance ensues of trying to cover the necessities. It's an impressive performance. Arrow's diaper is still leaking out of the fabric. I hear my friend calling through the phone "I think I'll just call you back." (I'm impressed that my phone worked well enough to hear that sentence.) A yelp might have squeaked out.

The man finishes coming through the door.
It is only Taylor.

Oh my sweet mercy goodness.

He looks at me, startled. I think of what to say.

"The baby has a present for you. And I'm going to take a shower right now."

That moment was a sure clear sign of needing to practice priorities in an instant's notice. 

Even now though, I don't know what would have been the right course of action.

Do I clean the baby's bum first so she doesn't get rashes?
Do I ask my friend to call back later, even though she seemed to really need something?
Do I give up on the shower and simply focus on family needs?
Do I make sure that my front door is locked to avoid straining family relationships?

At the very least, friends, there was something to be proud of in all that. In the beginning, before the chaos, I had turned off the shower water before leaving the bathroom.

Because if nothing else, at least I can not feel guilty about contributing to the drought.

1 comment:

  1. HEHEHE. This made me laugh. Story of my life. I need to find balance and I feel like when you are thrown way too many things at once a lot of times there isn't really a right or wrong thing to do first. At least I haven't found that yet. Thanks for sharing!


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