- Your back up plan might not actually be all that dreamy once you're forced to choose it
- Always have a bag of marshmallows in the pantry
- Sometimes the door of opportunity might get shut in your face... but that doesn't mean it's locked.
The long version of what happened:
Monday - Taylor got a phone call. He was told his admission into a program he wanted had been a mistake.
When Taylor told me, I cried. I know exactly what it feels like to have a door slammed shut in your face without precedented warning. Then I felt feisty and protective because someone hurt my baby. Some executives ALMOST got a phone call on Monday, until I realized that I'm not my husband's mother and that he's a few years old than me and he's also a big boy who can manage his own career without me mitigating all the bumps.
(However, I was very much pleased when Taylor called his mom about the news and she went through the exact same phrases & reactions. I wonder if Taylor meant to marry his mother in a different person's body [and I don't mean that nearly as creepily as that's written out.])
Now, the explanations made sense. His admission had been accidentally overlooked. We weren't angry. (Well, after I learned that people weren't trying to bully my sweetheart.) But, we were really, really disappointed. I kept repeating, "You have to fight for your dreams sometimes. Who can we call?" But the rules were set, and honestly, Taylor and I are not pushy people. Manipulation and "pulling strings" feel unnatural and dishonest. I don't mind calling to see if there's wiggle room to make things happen, but to cause trouble for someone else isn't our nature. It didn't feel right to call in on this one, so we had to let it be.
Then came the aftershock.
After consuming an entire bag of mini marshmallows for consolation's sake, it occurred to me that this had a much bigger impact than we realized.
You see, we definitely had backup choices if Taylor didn't pass the program. But those were hinged on starting many months down the road. There was a long list of decisions that needed to be made. Some could wait a few months, but others had TWO DAYS to be put in action. Suddenly, we had to choose a whole bunch of things about school, work, and even where we were going to be living in the next 9 months.
Having a future snatched away so quickly like that was startling. I forget that other people have a large impact on your actions.
It was a lot to take in.
Tuesday - After a day of mourning and comfort foods, it was time to start brainstorming next steps. But even with prayers & asking parents for advice, neither of us had really felt impressed to do one thing or another. We were still stuck.
A second life-adjusting phone call came in.
They had changed their minds, completely on their own will.
Oh boy. At that point, I wasn't sure what I was feeling. One day, our future was thrown into the air in the form of blank puzzle pieces, and the very next, it was resumed to exactly how we had planned it before. Whiplashed, I think, is a word that describes the experience.
Taylor, on the other hand, was grinning ridiculously at every man, tree, and cat like they were manna from heaven. He was back in! He got a second chance! What a stinking beautiful world we live in!
And now we continue on exactly as planned. Except we're down a bag of marshmallows.