Tuesday, January 3, 2017

All the things she says

My sister was in an accident this last month.



The car? Totaled. Injuries? Minor. That hole in the windshield? Compliments of a deer antler. Actually, it may have actually been a deer leg, but Kylee says she was too busy screaming to register exactly what it was.

She is fine, if not tired of the internet brutally assaulting her with these memes like these. 


But. This post isn't about the accident. That's just context for the conversation we had that day.

Also, before my sister's reputation is completely spoiled via this blog, let me preface that Kylee is a very kindhearted, Jesus-loving person. She also happens to joke about drinking bleach and purposely running over your Prius because she's convinced it's an abomination of a car creation.

THAT AFTERNOON

Kylee: So my young women's leader gave me a box of gluten free cookies that actually taste good.

Chaun: Oh yeah?

Kylee: Yeah, like they're actually soft. I was eating the entire box at school, just like this... 

Kylee: *Demonstrates eating a cookie, complete with sound effects.*

Chaun: Calm down there

Kylee: ...But I wanted to share some with Mom.

Chaun: That's nice of you. I'm not sure what this has to do with the deer hitting your car.

Kylee: Well after the deer hit me, I was just standing outside just freezing to death, and then I remembered the cookies-

Chaun: Same.

Kylee: So I went to check if they were still good. I opened up the box, and NOPE it's full of broken glass.

Chaun: What a sad waste of cookies. Can't share those now.

Kylee: Oh, no, it's gonna be my senior prank.

LATER THAT DAY

Chaun: I like Gordsmans when they have deals.

Kylee: Gordsman?

Chaun: Yes. Like a pumpkin gourd man. A man who protects his gourds. He would look like a scarecrow and struggle making friends since he's lonely but he's a good lead character who protects his field of gourds.

Chaun: I'm going to make that into a book.

Chaun: And it will be adorable. 

Kylee: *gives me a sideways look* 

Kylee: You know, I'm never really sure what's going on in your head.

Chaun: ASFSDASDHGKJLG

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