Thursday, March 16, 2017

My Seat at the Table



I always say that there’s a chair for *everyone* at the table. However, for one reason or another, I guess I forgot that there was an invitation for me, too.

For a wild minute this past Sunday, I guess I forgot I was loved. Emotions came to a head this when I sat in with Taylor at our usual family council and tearily named the source of quiet frustration I felt. I knew that I was liked, and that I was needed in all the facets of my life. But I didn’t know that I was wanted. Or that I was loved.

Stuff like this doesn't usually get to me. For reals. :) Ups and downs are just part of life, you know? But this time was hitting me pretty hard. I cleared my throat through tears trying to verbally explain why I was sad.

As Taylor and I talked, little bits of reassurance were already settling in. He offered to give me a priesthood blessing. I almost didn’t take it, saying “Nah, I’m okay now,” but then paraphrasing Al Fox Carraway, if someone offers me a message from God, then it’s worth taking.

I’m so glad I had one.

Whenever I need comfort, I imagine myself on my knees next to God, laying my head in his lap, sort of like a child relaxing on a father’s knee. During the blessing, that image came to mind and it felt more real than usual. I could feel the earnest desire of Heavenly Father to show me that He really, really loves me, and wanted me to know it. Even just knowing of His sincerity made me feel 100% better.

The blessing continued to promise that my eyes would be opened to the little gifts God had for me. I didn’t expect anything, but you guys. God delivered. From Facebook messages from people I haven't talked to in 5+ years to the man at Dunkin Donuts who spotted me 3 extra donuts "just because", God was reaching out to me in all sorts of different avenues.

It felt so good.

People need to feel needed. People need to feel wanted. People need to feel loved.

I need to feel needed. I need to feel wanted. I need to feel loved.

And, I am. Loved.

And, so are you. My experience isn't as good as your own. Ask Him for it. :)

xoxo

Chaun

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