My husband and I were ordering at a Thai restaurant. (Which, by the way, took me four tries to spell "restaurant" correctly until autocorrect saved me. English hard.)
This was a group date with one of my husband’s friend and sometimes Taylor and I forget that to retain friends we must bond with them outside of Facebook once in a while, so when asked if we could come hang for a couple hours then we were wagging tails and barking YES OMG FRIENDS.
She suggested one of her favorite Thai
The last time I had Thai was from the most incredibly kind people we met in Oregon who fed us cookies and also Thai food. These people were angels not yet descended into heaven, because I'm guessing buying dinner that burns off taste buds isn't 100% amicable. Let it be noted that this is their only flaw that keeps them from heaven, and that's a good thing because I'm not ready for that yet.
That Oregonian Thai food was so spicy that I don't believe that it's actually Thai. No people would actually want to eat that. If anything, it must have been a cruel, heartless prank pulled by the chef, because there are some bad people in this world. Spicy doesn't "flavor" a food item, unless that flavor is "food that once was delicious but is now the taste and smell of burning flesh". And that’s sort of gross, loves.
So now here we were again. Here to make friends and not offend but also try to not self implode at the dining table.
The waitress approached and got our orders and the spice levels.
Friend 1: Level 10K, please
Friend 2: Like maybe a medium 5?
Taylor: I'll take a medium
Chaun: (at the suggestion of Friend 2) Like the mildest of milds you could possibly season. Like a sub-mild. Or maybe not season at all.
I was 100% sure the chef was going to prank my meal with spare ghost peppers just to "prove a point" because there are people brainwashed into thinking spicy isn't all "that bad". To my delight, they brought out a dish so mild my newborn son could probably eat so I guess you could say I have a new fave Thai resteraunt. Or whatever.