Sunday, July 16, 2017

The Mormon Drug of Choice

Taylor and I have an herb garden. This is from that garden.


Unless Home Depot lied to us, these are probably not drugs.


This, however, is the drug in our house.



Not greasy twinkies, exactly, but sugar. In our family, we don't "do" drugs. But man, we can do some sugar.

What is it about sugar that makes it so addictive? Is it the terrifying fat man rallying us to "Stay Puft"? Is it the green goo? Is it the chemically-processed cakes that we, AS A COUNTRY HAD A NATIONWIDE PANIC ATTACK OVER, can't seem to live without?!

This is madness.

I love desserts. I even named my first major blog after them (Hiccups and Pastries). Which, to this day, I regret because people logged on that site to find desserts but instead found half-witted stories and pictures from my sister's Snapchat. All my verbal introductions about the blog were "It's called Hiccups and Pastries, but it's actually kind of a humor blog and has literally nothing to do with pastries. Or hiccups." It pained me that there wasn't a better name for this blog thangy thang so I took to consuming all the sugary things in the house to deal with the stress. Like here.

Where were we?

Oh, right.

A couple months ago, Taylor and I tried a "no sugar for a week" event. Right from the start, we had a problem.

You see, Taylor is healthy.
Taylor is certified in all the health things.
Taylor didn't share my struggle.

This whole "week without sugar" was really Chaun's willpower VS dastardly treats. For Taylor it was like counting to five while sitting back in a jacuzzi.

Turns out, there are literal sugar withdrawals when you suddenly stop eating it. The cravings are there all the time. I held back from making a pan of brownies and eating them all, but that week I did eat a lot more toast with cinnamon sugar on top.

It's kind of stupid, ridiculous, and a little scary. Seriously, it's just sugar, right? It's just a cookie. It's just a bowl of ice cream. It's just a disgusting Twinkie. It's not like it requires that much self control to refrain. Supposedly

I just want cookies :(

No comments:

Post a Comment

Comments, questions, concerns, religious inquiries? Share below!

Mailchimp

Don't miss out - Subscribe to be first in line! #winning

* indicates required